Wednesday, January 13, 2010

My Coming Out, Part Two. "Living A Lie"

This is something I wrote for my mother. Coming out is NEVER easy, needless to say writing this didnt make the process any easier, but I'm glad I could get my thoughts out effectively.

Living A Lie
How do I tell you my secrets?
How do I look you in the eye everyday and continue to live a lie?
How can I pretend that everything makes sense and that everything is ok, when its not.
You.
You beautiful person, are my maker.
You should know me best.
You should know all the tears I cry.
You should know my fears. You should know when things just arent quite the same.
Look at me. Dont just look AT my hazel eyes. Look through them, all the way to my heart and soul.
Dont judge what I come off as.
Dont judge my decisions.
But remember ME.
Remember my character.
Remember how happy you are when I smile and Im at peace.
Remember my love for you.
One like no other.
I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to disappoint you. I never meant to make you feel as if you have failed me, because you havent.
But no longer can I look at you with a mask.
Yet, how can I tell you my secrets? How can I look you in the eye every damn day and continue to live a lie? "

No comments:

Post a Comment